Just Feels Different

Hey guys,

So I’m going to get a little deep with this post. I’m sure you all have had these types of moments. The moments that I speak of are moments of clarity. Sometimes we go through life unchecked, sometimes not told of the consequences of our actions, and often judged for them.

I can only tell you that my move to another state has helped me grow in ways that I could never have imagined. I feel that if I had stayed in the same pit that I was in, I would’ve never changed this much. Sometimes I wonder how my life would have been if I never stepped foot out of my comfort zone and living space.

I’ve run into different kinds of of people in my life from where I used to live to where I live now. I have experienced being completely new to a city. I have learned how people can take advantage of that and most of all, how sometimes the ones you least expect end up having your back the most. I know we all know these types of feelings; the moments of clarity that reach our heart and remind us where we came from and how we got here. It reels us in to evaluate and reflect.

I thank God truly that I’ve been able to experience this much of my life. I’ve been able to experience love in many ways as well as the other side of the spectrum. I’ve experienced the furthest depths of my emotions and recently, have been learning how to discipline them to the best of my ability.

The mind is such a powerful thing. The mind can either work for your benefit if you train it well and it can also be your downfall, if you don’t pay attention. Mindless decisions can create mindless consequences. Although now I’m more mindful of them, even the mindless ones have helped shape me.

I just don’t feel like the person I used to be 5 years ago; and like 5 years before that, I wasn’t the same person then either. Growth is such a powerful thing. You can be a totally different person if enough experiences happen and if enough time passes. You’ll be lucky to say that you were able to and change any bad habits or bad choices of yesterday to prevent repeated mistakes.

This week for me has been the focal point of acceptance. I’ve made tons of choices, some of which I wish I could explain or apologize to certain people for. I have wanted to speak on moments that I wanted closure or clarification for but time has forced me to move on. This taught me that if I run into those thoughts and if it’s for a situation that has long since been forgotten, to not force the conversation and instead, to let it go and forgive myself. Always forgive yourself. You are human and not one of us is perfect.

This week taught me that some things are better left unsaid.

With that said, it doesn’t change how grateful and thankful I am today. I have been blessed to have come across certain people, experience what they offered good or bad, but most importantly, to be able forgive the bad. These moments of clarity are necessary to maintain a perspective and continue moving, in the direction of growth. Learning from your mistakes clears the way for you to allow yourself to forgive yourself and not be afraid to make anymore because that is how we learn. We learn from our own mistakes and if we are lucky we can learn from other’s mistakes.

Some people learn these things too late, sometimes early enough to enhance their life in a better way, and some people never get to have that moment.

Either way, I hope that life is most forgiving to you and that the universe grants you the dreams and aspirations you push and work for. Always be mindful of the energy you give it because surely enough, it will give you that same energy back.

Remember to always be:


Love,

Martha

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