Self-Growth Is A Constant

Hey loves,

I know I haven’t written since the last post but I have been in the process of doing a lot of growing, book reading, re-evaluating and soul searching. I have had a pretty busy last few weeks also from certain situations arising that take my attention from the things I love to do. But, no harm done- back to the grind, still doing the things that I love.

I am currently riding a wave of newness. A new beginning for me within the firm I work for is approaching therefore giving me excitement for the unknown. I’m still coaching clients via Herbalife, sharing the ideas I have through my social media platforms, and continue to find new skills and talents that I can work on this year to share with the world. I’m beyond excited to be able to!

To give you guys a quick update on the position, it started off as something I have been trying to obtain last year because of the skills I want to gain that I did not have awareness to from my very few years of adulthood. For a quick explanation of what that is, I am in the business now where networking is a requirement for growth. I realize that the best way I can attempt to mold and shape my views/skills is by speaking with and communicating with tons of different people with different personalities without judgment to understand how to adapt to them. I used to believe I wasn’t a people person because I considered myself as an “introvert” or “shy” and really what I ended up finding is that it translated to the fears I have of rejection.

Long story short, this position did not accept me last year but did accept me this year, and in all reality, fell into my lap. The moment I did not get the job last year, I was disappointed but made no issue of dwelling on it. I quickly moved on and found myself in predicaments around people who were going the opposite of positive growth. Luckily the opportunity presented itself again and I decided this was no coincidence, it was the Universe telling me that this was the step I needed to take. My inner voice strongly agreed with it, applied and got it.

I worked extremely hard, since the last time I wrote and still continue to work hard on expanding my mind and opening my mind as well as my heart to the idea that I can design who I am and my life. It has been an extreme breath of fresh air. Ever since, nothing but blessings have come my way. Yes, with some resistance but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t work around.

I have started by taking myself out to dinner or lunch, breaking myself out of the mold I put myself in for so long, finding it unnecessary to require company in order to enjoy life’s simple pleasures. It is insane how your own beliefs can box you up and keep you home because of any inkling of discomfort (I’ve clearly read one too many spiritual books since I started this self-growth journey.)

I have found myself more aware becoming much more inclined to smile and look in someone’s eyes to be able to feel their energy as well as the moment. So many small things that I found myself doing that I stopped myself from believing in for a few years, I started to see become so far removed. I continue to shed each layer of limiting beliefs, conditioning, and habits that kept me from being the best me I can be.

To get a little deeper, I have also found myself in a position that did push me back a few steps. There was something that presented an inner conflict when particular situations and persons appeared in my life. I had in a few occasions started betraying my inner voice, not listening to my gut. I almost felt myself lose control.

I was able to see that I was adding back on the old habits and conditioning. I became again, insecure and feeling my self-esteem starting to shake that my ego started to arise. I didn’t feel like myself anymore at one point. Then, my inner voice shouting as loud as it can in me, pulled me away from the toxicity of the air that was my fear, worry, doubts, and meaningless desires to remind me where I’m going. Still, although a pain to have to go through, all of it was necessary.

It helped me see what it is I truly want, who I was becoming and who I want to be. It helped me also notice how these moments of despair can also easily sprout joy and happiness once the focus shifts. The disappointment and sadness was acknowledged. I let it settle in for a moment. I coddled it and told it that it was okay to visit but that it had to go now. Now, it was time to focus and concentrate on the things that bring me joy and happiness and release any attachments and expectations.

Although some old habits started to latch itself on, it wasn’t strong enough. Luckily I love myself and others far too much to destroy the work and progress I built. My skin became like oil, preventing conditioning and toxicity to hold. Suddenly, they all fell like leaves and blew into the wind. I have been practicing so much forgiveness from that time of my life- forgiving myself and others and letting go as gracefully as I can. In the end, I feel no bitterness. I feel more alive than I ever was because I embrace each moment and truly felt everything. I realize I am less afraid to be vulnerable and that’s where I found my courage.

Now, I am happy because I know that I am not what I have done, what I believe, nor my habits. I know I am not my past. I’ve learned how to find and be the light when it’s dark and also find light in others. I focus now on the intention of what my energy and presence will give when I am somewhere.

I was fortunate enough to come across people who’s light came to touch me and be part of what’s considered my only life’s journey, whether it was good or bad. A million, trillion, billion people in the world, many I don’t know, many places I haven’t seen but I’m beyond blessed, to see the ones I have and know and it doesn’t stop here! Growth is a constant, ever changing, evolution of a revolution against societal conditioning. More to tell later…hopefully soon!

Love,

Martha

Advertisements

The more things seem the same, the more they seem to change.

I’ve been having writers block lately but with the desire to write. I took out my notebook yesterday and my mind wanted to fill up the papers with words I had in my head but I got distracted so I ended up not writing and just did the basic. There’s a foundation I never want to stop and want to continue which is writing as much as possible the five things I’m grateful for.

I have just been doing a lot of spiritual healing, more so having a better attitude and reacting less to triggers. I have grown up in a world where I cared too much about what people thought and how people felt that I couldn’t be as honest as I wanted to be. I am in a space where I’m allowing my values to take over my past and renew my present. I have started to care less about what people say and do and more about what I can do in my own power in response. For a moment I also ran into a hiccup. It’s true when they say that some wounds will appear when you don’t deal with them at the moment that they happen and it’s crazy how much I was even willing to hurt myself because I didn’t love myself enough to address them. Just recently heard a video in which Mel Robbins spoke on a statistic on the odds of being alive right now. 1 in 400 trillion. In short I’m one lucky son of a gun. So even though in a sense I really try not to take my life so seriously now, I still take into consideration the fortune of getting to ride this world in the life that I have been given.

So I found myself in a sea of emotions recently, reminding how human I was and unforgiving I was to myself. I felt as if I was drowning in certain moments, like I couldn’t catch my breath and I was treading for survival. There were wounds that opened up and I had to learn to forgive myself for them. At first I wanted a lot of things to go a particular way because of them but I ultimately figured there’s beauty in the mystery of life. There’s beauty in not forcing things to happen the way that you imagine in your head. There’s beauty in letting life take it’s course and just having the best attitude about it and taking action to ensure the course is smooth.

I found that some things are not forever but that beautiful memories are life’s way of reminding you the great stories you came across being forever for you. Life has a way of introducing even more beautiful memories, much more beautiful than we could reminisce on. So much of that reminded me to focus on the present and I have often had to bring myself back a bunch of times. I am very satisfied in being able to pull myself back though by allowing myself to feel certain things and allowing myself to let go of the fluttering butterfly of emotions that land in the palm of my hands unexpectedly.

I am just lucky, so lucky to have been working on healing my wounds, something I never even thought I’d get to do but I do them so that my daughter won’t pick up the damage. I am also lucky to have been loved, even in those moments when I have felt at my lowest.

Always grateful for the things I experience and happy for life I’m breathing.

Love,

Martha

Finding Love

I think sometimes we over think this love thing, hell, I mean I know I have. I always thought of love being this perfect little fairytale out of a book. You know, where the Prince Charming somehow becomes your savior or hero in action.

Boy was mine a long shot from a perfect knight in shining armor. I think we disappoint ourselves when we have a checklist in mind for who we think we will end up with. He was complex but for me, easy to understand. He was sweet yet yet rough at times. I always wondered how the outcome would be given that I’ve received so many mixed signals at first but our attraction was undeniable. We were told constantly that we should date and it never occurred to me that we actually would until we did. It tickled my curiosity to find out what it would be like especially since he was so quiet and his silence intrigued me. Not only did he make me curious but I enjoyed his company genuinely so I figured it can’t be bad, right?

Well, within those months I was at a time that I call the time period of finding myself. I was still super new to the real world. I haven’t been given much common sense to take with me so most of the time I was oblivious to my own ignorance and nevertheless I did it my way anyway.

I had let myself be free and also let him be in his world. It was freedom and youth at its highest. I mean, I was enjoying myself and living and so was he. I had been experiencing a type of freedom I never had before which was as a result of moving out of my parents’ house and finding out my previous relationship wasn’t going anywhere. It was just a myriad of ropes that snapped and allowed me to find myself.

Yet, the man I chose ended up being the type of man who I could talk to and confide in. Sometimes even when he he was rough, he still managed to feel like home. He was sweet even though I could tell he was fighting with old habits. Don’t we all have those we fight against?

Of course, I managed to get caught in certain crossfires if that but needless to say, I survived. I feel like sometimes people can misjudge if they’re not in the situation or know what’s really going on behind closed doors but I always feel that we all have flaws and are worthy of forgiveness, especially if we carry good hearts.

I’ve found that all the complications and choices led to my being blessed to have a good man. I always felt fear of not knowing what the future held since I’m sure like others have had interesting experiences in their love life.

Given I had very little experience in relationships, I’ve managed to push through a lot of bull. Learning recent news of a few people I almost made it out with, made me feel grateful that I had who I have. I feel like anyone who knows me knows I had been through a lot on my own.

This relationship also after all, allowed me to be vulnerable.

I was always down to experience a new person but not down to immediately move into the idea of forever after. I was having fun, I was young but each time he would express an idea of a deeper meaningful relationship by being a gentleman, it always turned me out. I was with a man.

He changed the idea of never getting married in me. What’s more, is his respect for people in general. I’m sure as most men do, have their moments of whatever men think about or do of course but for the most part, I got lucky to say that I’ve found love where I didn’t expect to find it at all.

Above all, like I told a friend earlier this week, some questions just have no answers and we don’t need to know all of the answers.

We just need to love hard and cherish each moment that we are alive, whether we are in a relationship or not.

I’m thankful I had experienced other people and relationships before I got to say yes to the one I wanted and don’t feel that “what if” feeling, even if I wished at some moments I could’ve done certain things differently in the way I handled situations which simply reminds me that that’s the beauty of life.

Per usual, we take the test before we learn the lesson. I learned how to forgive without receiving an apology nor seeking one.

Not saying follow my example but if you’re still in that zone of finding yourself, let yourself be free and enjoy the moments that come. Someday you’ll look back and be happy that tons of people contributed to the quality of your life and don’t focus on the negative. Both positive and negative things happen but which side you pay attention to more will determine how you view things.

Always live with love, peace, and happiness.

Love,

Martha

Kids & Health

At first when your kid is still brand new (by a few months) and is starting just to eat, parents usually feed their kids either prepackaged veggies/fruits or homemade veggies/fruits because of time restrictions. Well, that is what we did.

At a very early point in my daughter’s life we introduced veggies and fruits. Somehow though, in our case, vegetables weren’t as consistent on her plate as she was getting older. Since recently my change of diet has been consistent, I have tried to make sure veggies are on the plate, even for her.

Her father was particularly vocal about his dislike for vegetables, particularly broccoli during her very early age. I had to advise him to use code names for this but too late. My daughter, being the observant child that she is, also ended up hating broccoli.

She really HATED it.

If it was green, it was nasty.

But today, I FINALLY got her to eat broccoli. I told her initially that what I was feeding her wasn’t broccoli (just so that she won’t have a biased opinion) but when she had that surprised look on her face I could tell that she LOVED it and I loved that she loved it. We celebrated to the moon and back.

I almost thought I didn’t have anything much to write about today because oddly enough I spent most of it sulking in my own bad luck.

It started off with not being able to do my eyebrows right, to my computer problems RIGHT before I left work, and right before picking up shoes for my daughter. I was going through it today!

However, a video I watched today made me think of how I was feeling and what I was expressing with my vibrations. I was just moody and unhappy but when I caught myself and smiled a little bit more, my mood changed eventually and the small things didn’t bother me anymore. I just felt great the rest of the day. Why were the small bothering me in the first place? My own thoughts.

When you control your thoughts by bringing yourself back to the present with your vibrations and let the bad stuff go, you will be at a better place mentally and spiritually. The rest will fall in line too.

Just know even the bad days have blessings too because when my daughter ate her vegetables and helped me bring the groceries inside, I knew at that moment that nothing else could change the happiness I felt from feeling like today was a great day.

Love,

Martha

September Update

Hey guys so glad to see you all back here!

So tons and tons has happened since I last posted. Last big event that happened was that I got proposed to by the man I have always wanted. Next thing you know, I realized that was asked of me afterwards is when’s the date, how, who, what, where, and I’m like, huh?

I never knew how weddings can get really complicated but I did know how I can use this as an opportunity to create something out of me. I did know that wedding planning is difficult but I felt like I could handle it. Then, to my surprise, I reached out to someone who was also getting married even though at the moment I thought she had already gotten married (I was trying to get referrals of catering, DJ, etc.) I wanted to create something simple and not so crazy since I decided if I’m going to do this I might as well try referrals first. Then to my luck and surprise she let me know one day she wanted start up a an event planning company. So we spoke and I feel personally that the wedding will be beautiful, simple and inexpensive.

Ladies, if you decide you’re about to get married, know that it is not a walk in the park. Research goes into the venue after you decide on a date because why? You have to know if they’ll even be available for when you want it! To my surprise, tons of couples schedule these things years ahead of time and I’m like within months of wanting to get married. Whoops! Well I wanted to do something cute and simple without it being effortless. If you have that kind of money, though, you’ll be able to afford a wedding planner.

I want there to show the work that I also put in to this but I trust the person I spoke with. Plus to me, this an opportunity to practice project management. Yes, that is a thing.

Anyway, I realized as of last weekend, I wasn’t exactly a “party girl” anymore. I went out to Spain for the weekend just to enjoy myself. I got sloppy reaaaaaaaaal fast. Definitely underestimated my capacity lol! I haven’t been out in a while though and the drinks after a while started to taste like water. By the time I realized how drunk I was, I was chugging water and water and dancing as much as I could to sober up. One thing I can say is I’m a professional sober upper haha. Bathroom, water, and physical activity. Food is ideal but I was NOT about to break the diet 🙂

Lastly, this one client I have been helping with her weight loss has been making me so unpredictably proud! It’s like insane and amazing to see someone change their whole bodies and lose some weight and keep it down and not only that but be able to incorporate physical activity. Literally I have made it a priority to help my community as best as possible. I just enjoy trying to get into the swing of things. Since I’m still learning it feels challenging but my client has been doing an amazing job so it makes me feel like I am.

I’ve revisited my past for a moment, sometimes one feels like before moving on or forward, one must reassure and accept the past as being what it is, the past. I just felt so heart freeing after saying my piece telling of my peace. It was liberating.

I just felt a lot of the times in my past I was too savage on my own. Lately though, I have been doing tons of things, even to this day, to work on it. Lately though, I’ve been focusing my energy on my strengths.

Don’t forget guys, to work on yourselves everyday. I cannot stress how important that is. Everyday if you can, listen to some motivational videos, do some physical activity, let your day be more than just another day of nothingness and you’ll see eventually the fruit of all your labors. One thing is for sure, hard work WILL pay off.

Love,

Martha

Sautéed Shrimp & Zucchinni

Hi guys, welcome back! So I know I did promise a Shrimp & Zucchini recipe for you guys to try. It’s super quick and easy not to mention deeeeelicious! I came up with this one day because Kroger’s was selling a bag of shrimp for like $13 dollars. I was like whaattt *grabs bag*. Lately we have been on this zucchini craving lately so I went and bought a few to cut up and sauté. The day came to make a quick dinner and it only took about 10-15 minutes to make! Like I said, so quick and easy especially for people who want to meal plan or just eat something quick but filling.

So first, grab a nice bag of shrimp, I would recommend the big ones, I grabbed a 21/25 count, because they get smaller once they cook a little in the pan (as I’ve discovered on my own).

This can serve around 3-4 and does not require much prepping.

Make sure to have:

  • 1 TBSP Butter
  • 1 TBSP Olive oil
  • 1 medium uncooked zucchini (cut into 1/4 inch slices)
  • 1/2 TBS Garlic powder
  • 1/2 TBS Parsley
  • 1/4 TSP Black pepper
  • 1/2 TSP Salt
  • 1/2 Cup grape tomatoes (optional)
  • 1.5 cups of large-size pealed shrimp

What I did first was cut up the zucchini first into 1/4 inch slices and put it on the side.

Then I placed the olive oil in the pan and waited a few minutes to get hot. How I can tell if the pan is hot sometimes is I splash a little water and if it crackles, it’s pretty good on heat.

Then I place the zucchini slices in the pan and cook until it’s golden on both sides by mixing and flipping the zucchinis for around 5 minutes, during this time I sprinkle over the black pepper, salt, and garlic powder. Once it’s cooked I place it on the side.

Next, I put butter in my pan, assuming it’s still on and hot (using a check method first) I go ahead and add my shrimp to the pan and start moving it around to get the shrimp cooked on all sides. During this time I am adding my parsley in between and making sure all of the shrimp is lightly covered (add more if needed). The shrimp is cooked when you no longer see the greys and translucent of the shrimp. It should be a reddish, pink color.

I add my tomatoes at the end and let it cook with the shrimp by tossing and moving it around in the pan until the tomatoes are softened. Then I put my zucchini back in the pan to get hot and voila I’m done!

Now you can serve and what would be recommended is 1 and 1/4 cups to serve or however you decide you would like to eat it. Make sure you keep in mind portion control! Small meat, more veggies, and small complex carbs.

Unfortunately my husband loves the white rice and pasta so I had to make him white rice. I stuck with my shrimp and veggies though to keep it disciplined.

It is a HARD road to be disciplined but believe me, it will totally pay off in the long run and I will keep posting more healthy meal ideas for you health lovers and weight watchers.

Until next time.

Love,

Martha

The only way that this will work, is if you love me when it hurts.

So I guess I can say that as of July 28, 2017 I’m in a different head space than I was before. I guess all the tears, fights, the kisses, and love endured had been signified in one moment. This moment has to have been one of my happiest moments of my entire life besides the birth of my daughter.

I have to say, my future husband did a fantastic job. I have my greatest story to tell how it happened when my daughter is older. I’m glad he didn’t bring everyone around and kept it intimate. This is something I wanted to share between us and he did what I thought was simple, traditional, and me.

It all started with earlier in the week being told about a date night on a Friday. I agreed, I love date nights. We barely have date nights but when we do, we try to cherish each moment we have with each other. So obviously I was excited. Then he tells me about a spa treatment like getting my nails done on a Friday that I had to take time off work for. I was confused about it because we as women know we can just put that off until the weekend but I tried to take some time off which ended up not going through. So by the time the day came, something in my gut told me there was a reason my nails should be done that day. The feeling was so strong that I decided to do my nails simple French tip manicure.

So here he comes in his blue car and picks me up from work. I slide in the passenger seat and in his hand is a single rose and I’m surprised because for a date night so this was unusual and romantic but at the same time I accepted it as maybe he’s doing this from now on. So he tells me we’re going to one restaurant and end up passing it, which I point out. Then he tells me about another restaurant and again, I point out that we’re not walking the right way. Eventually he takes me to a restaurant I’ve been dying to try but haven’t wanted to go in because I wanted to make sure it was for a special occasion as the menu is pretty pricey. We speak to the host and then we sit in the table and my anxiety is screaming that today may be the day because there’s literally no other reason why I should be here.

A waiter strolls out on this wheel carrier a bouquet of roses and 2 glasses of champagne. They set them down and I’m thinking okay this is extremely romantic. Next thing I know I direct my gaze back to him with probably the most confused panicky look on my face. He said some beautiful deep words quoting a movie (by this time I feel like the whole room is spinning and I hear muffles)then he kneels down and I’m freaking out. FREAKING OUT. My anxiety takes over and just prompts me to put on the ring.

Needless to say I said yes and since then my heart and head has been on cloud 9. I feel myself bursting out with love that was locked in my soul and heart. I give so much credit to Herbalife journey and my future husband and my daughter for bringing this out of me.

I do feel sad that for most of my life, after having crossed some boys who were immature, I was cold but at times I feel like it got me ready for a good man when he came around. The man I’m with is the man I always wanted. He is a kind, loving, generous and fit man. No receding hairline, dad gut, etc. Obviously that’s not all on my list but I can say I was lucky for what I have next to me because he’s more sometimes that I feel like I deserve.

I don’t want to put any other guys I came across down as I know we have grown up by now (or hopefully) but do want to say that certain experiences hindered me in the sense that I was really closed off on the idea of love traditionally up until I turned 24 to the hardest extent but deep inside I knew somehow and in someway the best would come out of me. I worked extremely on myself and am still working to be the better and best person I can be. I want to reach my highest peak for me and my family. I want my daughter to know that the world can be a cruel and cold place but to direct her focus on the parts that make life so beautiful like the good people that I’ve come across that made life worth living.

It was a great weekend, going to be even better when I get to NY this week 🙂

Love,

Martha