Self-Growth Is A Constant

Hey loves,

I know I haven’t written since the last post but I have been in the process of doing a lot of growing, book reading, re-evaluating and soul searching. I have had a pretty busy last few weeks also from certain situations arising that take my attention from the things I love to do. But, no harm done- back to the grind, still doing the things that I love.

I am currently riding a wave of newness. A new beginning for me within the firm I work for is approaching therefore giving me excitement for the unknown. I’m still coaching clients via Herbalife, sharing the ideas I have through my social media platforms, and continue to find new skills and talents that I can work on this year to share with the world. I’m beyond excited to be able to!

To give you guys a quick update on the position, it started off as something I have been trying to obtain last year because of the skills I want to gain that I did not have awareness to from my very few years of adulthood. For a quick explanation of what that is, I am in the business now where networking is a requirement for growth. I realize that the best way I can attempt to mold and shape my views/skills is by speaking with and communicating with tons of different people with different personalities without judgment to understand how to adapt to them. I used to believe I wasn’t a people person because I considered myself as an “introvert” or “shy” and really what I ended up finding is that it translated to the fears I have of rejection.

Long story short, this position did not accept me last year but did accept me this year, and in all reality, fell into my lap. The moment I did not get the job last year, I was disappointed but made no issue of dwelling on it. I quickly moved on and found myself in predicaments around people who were going the opposite of positive growth. Luckily the opportunity presented itself again and I decided this was no coincidence, it was the Universe telling me that this was the step I needed to take. My inner voice strongly agreed with it, applied and got it.

I worked extremely hard, since the last time I wrote and still continue to work hard on expanding my mind and opening my mind as well as my heart to the idea that I can design who I am and my life. It has been an extreme breath of fresh air. Ever since, nothing but blessings have come my way. Yes, with some resistance but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t work around.

I have started by taking myself out to dinner or lunch, breaking myself out of the mold I put myself in for so long, finding it unnecessary to require company in order to enjoy life’s simple pleasures. It is insane how your own beliefs can box you up and keep you home because of any inkling of discomfort (I’ve clearly read one too many spiritual books since I started this self-growth journey.)

I have found myself more aware becoming much more inclined to smile and look in someone’s eyes to be able to feel their energy as well as the moment. So many small things that I found myself doing that I stopped myself from believing in for a few years, I started to see become so far removed. I continue to shed each layer of limiting beliefs, conditioning, and habits that kept me from being the best me I can be.

To get a little deeper, I have also found myself in a position that did push me back a few steps. There was something that presented an inner conflict when particular situations and persons appeared in my life. I had in a few occasions started betraying my inner voice, not listening to my gut. I almost felt myself lose control.

I was able to see that I was adding back on the old habits and conditioning. I became again, insecure and feeling my self-esteem starting to shake that my ego started to arise. I didn’t feel like myself anymore at one point. Then, my inner voice shouting as loud as it can in me, pulled me away from the toxicity of the air that was my fear, worry, doubts, and meaningless desires to remind me where I’m going. Still, although a pain to have to go through, all of it was necessary.

It helped me see what it is I truly want, who I was becoming and who I want to be. It helped me also notice how these moments of despair can also easily sprout joy and happiness once the focus shifts. The disappointment and sadness was acknowledged. I let it settle in for a moment. I coddled it and told it that it was okay to visit but that it had to go now. Now, it was time to focus and concentrate on the things that bring me joy and happiness and release any attachments and expectations.

Although some old habits started to latch itself on, it wasn’t strong enough. Luckily I love myself and others far too much to destroy the work and progress I built. My skin became like oil, preventing conditioning and toxicity to hold. Suddenly, they all fell like leaves and blew into the wind. I have been practicing so much forgiveness from that time of my life- forgiving myself and others and letting go as gracefully as I can. In the end, I feel no bitterness. I feel more alive than I ever was because I embrace each moment and truly felt everything. I realize I am less afraid to be vulnerable and that’s where I found my courage.

Now, I am happy because I know that I am not what I have done, what I believe, nor my habits. I know I am not my past. I’ve learned how to find and be the light when it’s dark and also find light in others. I focus now on the intention of what my energy and presence will give when I am somewhere.

I was fortunate enough to come across people who’s light came to touch me and be part of what’s considered my only life’s journey, whether it was good or bad. A million, trillion, billion people in the world, many I don’t know, many places I haven’t seen but I’m beyond blessed, to see the ones I have and know and it doesn’t stop here! Growth is a constant, ever changing, evolution of a revolution against societal conditioning. More to tell later…hopefully soon!

Love,

Martha

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The more things seem the same, the more they seem to change.

I’ve been having writers block lately but with the desire to write. I took out my notebook yesterday and my mind wanted to fill up the papers with words I had in my head but I got distracted so I ended up not writing and just did the basic. There’s a foundation I never want to stop and want to continue which is writing as much as possible the five things I’m grateful for.

I have just been doing a lot of spiritual healing, more so having a better attitude and reacting less to triggers. I have grown up in a world where I cared too much about what people thought and how people felt that I couldn’t be as honest as I wanted to be. I am in a space where I’m allowing my values to take over my past and renew my present. I have started to care less about what people say and do and more about what I can do in my own power in response. For a moment I also ran into a hiccup. It’s true when they say that some wounds will appear when you don’t deal with them at the moment that they happen and it’s crazy how much I was even willing to hurt myself because I didn’t love myself enough to address them. Just recently heard a video in which Mel Robbins spoke on a statistic on the odds of being alive right now. 1 in 400 trillion. In short I’m one lucky son of a gun. So even though in a sense I really try not to take my life so seriously now, I still take into consideration the fortune of getting to ride this world in the life that I have been given.

So I found myself in a sea of emotions recently, reminding how human I was and unforgiving I was to myself. I felt as if I was drowning in certain moments, like I couldn’t catch my breath and I was treading for survival. There were wounds that opened up and I had to learn to forgive myself for them. At first I wanted a lot of things to go a particular way because of them but I ultimately figured there’s beauty in the mystery of life. There’s beauty in not forcing things to happen the way that you imagine in your head. There’s beauty in letting life take it’s course and just having the best attitude about it and taking action to ensure the course is smooth.

I found that some things are not forever but that beautiful memories are life’s way of reminding you the great stories you came across being forever for you. Life has a way of introducing even more beautiful memories, much more beautiful than we could reminisce on. So much of that reminded me to focus on the present and I have often had to bring myself back a bunch of times. I am very satisfied in being able to pull myself back though by allowing myself to feel certain things and allowing myself to let go of the fluttering butterfly of emotions that land in the palm of my hands unexpectedly.

I am just lucky, so lucky to have been working on healing my wounds, something I never even thought I’d get to do but I do them so that my daughter won’t pick up the damage. I am also lucky to have been loved, even in those moments when I have felt at my lowest.

Always grateful for the things I experience and happy for life I’m breathing.

Love,

Martha

My Weight Loss Journey – Starting over (Postpartum)

I will never forget the first time I went shopping for some work pants a while after giving birth to my daughter. At the time I have been using my maternity clothes, trying to hold off buying new clothes, thinking I will lose the weight (soon in my mind). I realized later on that I needed variety.  This was the first time I felt confused in my body. I still felt like I was in the same body before I got pregnant.

I learned the hard way how untrue that was. It was the first time I didn’t know where to start with in sizes as an adult and the last time I had this type of problem was in my childhood which obviously was not under the same circumstances and could wear any baggy t-shirt to school, not like a corporate job where I had to dress business casual everyday. I had to spend a really long time and a lot of energy to figure out my correct pant size was and this put me in a bout of depression. For a while I did not feel like myself and felt down. As trivial as it sounds, we women care a lot about our appearance.

So in trying to figure it out, I was entering fitting room after fitting room and could never find anything that felt and looked flattering. I also had not wanted to reward myself with new clothes that I felt I would potentially wear temporarily.

Then one summer, I  went on vacation to Virginia Beach with my family and just felt so tired from walking and riding the bike that I wasn’t enjoying it as much as I wanted to. It was still enjoyable but I felt like it would have been more enjoyable had I had more energy and stamina. This desire to run in circles with my daughter on top of my clothing dilemma inspired me to start a weight loss journey.

I initially started with the 10,000 steps a day and I was counting mentally and just kept guessing which I’m sure looking back I probably overestimated how much I actually walked. At the time, I didn’t lose anything but then again, at this time I wasn’t watching what I ate.

Then one day a person I respect very much just told me to incorporate calisthenics and I had no idea what that was so I looked it up. All I thought was that looks hard. I couldn’t even do half of one push up at the time. Then what started off as something gradual working out twice per week for 20 minutes became progressive and now I work out at least 4 times a week for 45 minutes to an hour. These were the first YouTube channels that I felt would help me:

Fitness Marshall
Club Fitz
Dance with Jessica
Popsugar Fitness

When it came to my diet, I saw an interview with Dr. Oz on the Breakfast Club which is a radio station I frequently listen to. In the interview I remember Dr. Oz using visuals to inform on the effects of sodium and sugar intake. I managed to remember the picture of what was going on but am unable to remember the date and time.

I didn’t realize how much sugar and sodium can affect our bodies so negatively. There is apparently a recommended daily consumption limit for these things according to the Health.gov website. So I learned to maintain sugar intake between 25-30 grams and not exceed that amount daily. That’s for ONE day, so that means throughout my entire day, what I eat does not exceed my sugar intake. However, I realized how one can EASILY go through that. Like with a can of coke – it’s exceeding the daily limit and having two would’ve doubled that intake. I found that most processed foods contain so many grams of sugar as well. After so much research of sugar intake, I also found that being used to sugar consumption can also lead to Leptin Resistance(Shapiro, A., Mu, W., Roncal, C., Cheng, K.-Y., Johnson, R.J., & Scarpace, P.J. (2008).) in which the brain no longer “hears” the message to stop eating.

I had that problem for so long then with the above knowledge, I took control of my life back and have never felt more energy. People ask me constantly what I have done to lose weight and it’s really the only true and same message we all know but refuse to believe. It’s all blood, sweat, and tears in eating healthy and exercising often. There’s no secret nor magic pill that will take you there. It’s all pure hard work and most people often only see the result and don’t really see anyone do what it took to get there. Weight loss I found requires consistency, discipline, and a “can-do” attitude.

Maybe you had a different experience? If so, leave comments below! Let me know what YOU did to help motivate you, get you started, or what you did to lose/gain the weight you did!
Love,

Martha

References:

https://health.gov/dietaryguidelines/dga2005/healthieryou/html/chapter8.html

http://sugarscience.ucsf.edu/the-growing-concern-of-overconsumption/#.Wo22z_6ouCo

Shapiro, A., Mu, W., Roncal, C., Cheng, K.-Y., Johnson, R.J., & Scarpace, P.J. (2008). Fructose-induced leptin resistance exacerbates weight gain in response to subsequent high-fat feeding. American Journal of Physiology. Regulatory, Integrative and Comparative Physiology , 295(5), R1370–1375. doi:10.1152/ajpregu.00195.2008

http://www.doctoroz.com/article/theres-just-no-sugarcoating-news