Self-Growth Is A Constant

Hey loves,

I know I haven’t written since the last post but I have been in the process of doing a lot of growing, book reading, re-evaluating and soul searching. I have had a pretty busy last few weeks also from certain situations arising that take my attention from the things I love to do. But, no harm done- back to the grind, still doing the things that I love.

I am currently riding a wave of newness. A new beginning for me within the firm I work for is approaching therefore giving me excitement for the unknown. I’m still coaching clients via Herbalife, sharing the ideas I have through my social media platforms, and continue to find new skills and talents that I can work on this year to share with the world. I’m beyond excited to be able to!

To give you guys a quick update on the position, it started off as something I have been trying to obtain last year because of the skills I want to gain that I did not have awareness to from my very few years of adulthood. For a quick explanation of what that is, I am in the business now where networking is a requirement for growth. I realize that the best way I can attempt to mold and shape my views/skills is by speaking with and communicating with tons of different people with different personalities without judgment to understand how to adapt to them. I used to believe I wasn’t a people person because I considered myself as an “introvert” or “shy” and really what I ended up finding is that it translated to the fears I have of rejection.

Long story short, this position did not accept me last year but did accept me this year, and in all reality, fell into my lap. The moment I did not get the job last year, I was disappointed but made no issue of dwelling on it. I quickly moved on and found myself in predicaments around people who were going the opposite of positive growth. Luckily the opportunity presented itself again and I decided this was no coincidence, it was the Universe telling me that this was the step I needed to take. My inner voice strongly agreed with it, applied and got it.

I worked extremely hard, since the last time I wrote and still continue to work hard on expanding my mind and opening my mind as well as my heart to the idea that I can design who I am and my life. It has been an extreme breath of fresh air. Ever since, nothing but blessings have come my way. Yes, with some resistance but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t work around.

I have started by taking myself out to dinner or lunch, breaking myself out of the mold I put myself in for so long, finding it unnecessary to require company in order to enjoy life’s simple pleasures. It is insane how your own beliefs can box you up and keep you home because of any inkling of discomfort (I’ve clearly read one too many spiritual books since I started this self-growth journey.)

I have found myself more aware becoming much more inclined to smile and look in someone’s eyes to be able to feel their energy as well as the moment. So many small things that I found myself doing that I stopped myself from believing in for a few years, I started to see become so far removed. I continue to shed each layer of limiting beliefs, conditioning, and habits that kept me from being the best me I can be.

To get a little deeper, I have also found myself in a position that did push me back a few steps. There was something that presented an inner conflict when particular situations and persons appeared in my life. I had in a few occasions started betraying my inner voice, not listening to my gut. I almost felt myself lose control.

I was able to see that I was adding back on the old habits and conditioning. I became again, insecure and feeling my self-esteem starting to shake that my ego started to arise. I didn’t feel like myself anymore at one point. Then, my inner voice shouting as loud as it can in me, pulled me away from the toxicity of the air that was my fear, worry, doubts, and meaningless desires to remind me where I’m going. Still, although a pain to have to go through, all of it was necessary.

It helped me see what it is I truly want, who I was becoming and who I want to be. It helped me also notice how these moments of despair can also easily sprout joy and happiness once the focus shifts. The disappointment and sadness was acknowledged. I let it settle in for a moment. I coddled it and told it that it was okay to visit but that it had to go now. Now, it was time to focus and concentrate on the things that bring me joy and happiness and release any attachments and expectations.

Although some old habits started to latch itself on, it wasn’t strong enough. Luckily I love myself and others far too much to destroy the work and progress I built. My skin became like oil, preventing conditioning and toxicity to hold. Suddenly, they all fell like leaves and blew into the wind. I have been practicing so much forgiveness from that time of my life- forgiving myself and others and letting go as gracefully as I can. In the end, I feel no bitterness. I feel more alive than I ever was because I embrace each moment and truly felt everything. I realize I am less afraid to be vulnerable and that’s where I found my courage.

Now, I am happy because I know that I am not what I have done, what I believe, nor my habits. I know I am not my past. I’ve learned how to find and be the light when it’s dark and also find light in others. I focus now on the intention of what my energy and presence will give when I am somewhere.

I was fortunate enough to come across people who’s light came to touch me and be part of what’s considered my only life’s journey, whether it was good or bad. A million, trillion, billion people in the world, many I don’t know, many places I haven’t seen but I’m beyond blessed, to see the ones I have and know and it doesn’t stop here! Growth is a constant, ever changing, evolution of a revolution against societal conditioning. More to tell later…hopefully soon!

Love,

Martha

Grateful Holding You

One of the very few things in my life that brings me tremendous joy is holding my daughter in my arms to put her to sleep. Every time I hold her, I always think to myself how much I will miss her warmth. I take the moment to really soak up the present. I smell her hair and her skin, her 4 year old skin that only grows. I cherish feeling her be that small for the last time because all she’s going to do is grow. So I sing to her and I try to remain aware and not feel so quick to go watch a movie and have me time. My mind often wonders to what I’m going to do when I have my me time but this time, it will be her time.

I think one of the things I struggled most with as a new mother was being able to bond with my child. I don’t feel ashamed to say it because it’s true. It was my struggle. I had been feeling depressed before and after pregnancy. I had to force myself to even get up and do things as well as take care of the baby. I was tired all the time and moody. It was one of the most difficult transitions/phases of my life. I thought I would never be able to grow out of it but with new transitions and phases in life, comes challenges. I pushed through the challenges I faced wondering if I would ever get through them. Eventually, I grew from them. It was those challenges and painful moments that molded and shaped me to work on becoming better.

When I didn’t even think I would become an adequate mother let alone a good mother, here I am. Although I can’t consider myself great or perfect-your good old trophy mom-I mean she’s fed, loved, and dressed so that counts right?

I think we as mothers put so much pressure on other mothers to get it together when in reality it’s a struggle. We struggle to take care of ourselves because we’re so busy taking care of new life when we have newborns. Taking care of oneself is harder when breastfeeding. At that point you are simply a buffet for your human that needs you. I still struggle today. As parents we all struggle. It’s a different beast to face every day, literally.

We are teaching a human or humans who are new to the world how to be human and to be a decent human all the while some of us adult humans have become cynical from the trenches of adulthood. I find that I had push myself to start developing so that I may be able to fill my cup so that I can pour into her cup. It’s to the point that I’ve considered my body a shell, a miraculous vessel that I have to care for if I want to continue to make more or give quality time to my daughter.

Then, there are those moments of clarity in parenthood. Like when I have filled my cup with positivity and joy. There are those days I fed my spirit with the word of the Bible and I feel satisfied in my self development so that I can apply myself and be with my daughter in the best version of myself that I can be that day. I do it to where I can finally feel like, I made it through.

I make it so that the end of the days are worth it. After smiling in the midst of chaos of bills and adulthood, I would finally get to hold her while she sleeps. I feel the most sense of fulfillment when the silence fills the room and all I hear is the whispering of my  voice singing “Los Pollitos” while I listen to her heavy breaths of exhaustion.

There’ll never be a better feeling felt as a mother than to feel your little creation safe and sound and for that, it is all worth it.

Love,

Martha

Weight Loss – My journey

I found Herbalife maybe about a year ago. To this day, I’m very thankful I came into the opportunity. It has not only helped me grow mentally but also allowed me to use an outlet to discipline myself in various ways through the trials and tribulations.

To give you a backstory about how my weight has fluctuated, I actually grew up overweight and at some point in my youth had accepted that I would always be overweight the rest of my life. I’ve experienced the comments of being overweight throughout my entire childhood which really chipped into my self-esteem. Growing older though and understanding how everyone’s body is different, opened my eyes to how things actually are. Seeing a lot of how genetic make up was heavily involved with how our bodies come to be, I came to know that some of my genetic make up made it clear that it would be easy for me to gain weight and very hard to lose it.

I spent a lot of elementary school wearing baggy clothes and a lot of my middle school doing the same because I was overweight. I didn’t eat healthy either. A lot of the times I would eat fast food like burgers and fries. I was never into eating vegetables or even salads. In fact, I loathed the idea of a cold soggy food item entering my palette. Sometime after though, I started to lose weight. I wasn’t eating healthy but I stopped eating after a certain time to lose weight and only ate a small bowl of rice for dinner with moderate exercise.

Soon I became very skinny. There was a moment when I had a fear of gaining all the weight back and reverting back to that place of being classified as overweight thus being unfavorable again so I kept the weight loss going. I found myself in places many girls find themselves in, which is with some sort of of B.O.D. I felt that I was fat even though I fit in size 0 pants. I had been during my sweet 16, extremely underweight for my height. My sweet 16 picture is a reminder of what I would look like if I allow myself to have a wrong misconception about my weight.

Throughout high school regardless of the views I have had of myself, I was always interested in playing sports and always participated in whatever gym day activities happened. I actually enjoyed them because they gave me a release (mind you I was a teenager). Shortly afterwards, during my junior/senior year I stayed after for gym sessions to keep me busy from things that I thought were important at the time. I had done track briefly. I had only taken maybe 1-2 years of cheerleading and by college I was one of the first full blown boot camp cheerleader trainee. All the while still I was eating ANYTHING and EVERYTHING I wanted with no knowledge of nutrition by then but since I was doing so much cardio my metabolism was high up there so I didn’t question it. I made it to Ohio with the same mentality, just working out and having no structure for food or working out like when it came to weights with the machine. Still, I was eating what I wanted.

Soon I became pregnant and STILL thought I could eat whatever I wanted, thinking that my body is the same 15 year old body can just eat whatever and workout and I’ll be good. I didn’t understand how portion sized work, how my brain processes food when I’m full, how carbs worked, and how water can help one feel full. I also didn’t understand the sugar levels fluctuating hormonally. I gave birth and shortly after found that I was overweight. I couldn’t even go shopping because I always thought my 15 year old metabolism would kick in and I’d lose the weight. I was dead wrong!!

Something I won’t forget whenever I do look back into some experience was just wondering why whether I got really skinny or not, I was never toned. I did have the misconception then that I didn’t want to gain muscle, assuming I’d look bulky if I did. This was a time where I had very low self development and had never asked questions to get answers. Knowing what I know now, a lot questions of questions were answered. Most/all of them were answered after getting into Herbalife and learning that they’re protein shakes. The protein powder got me more involved into wondering the science behind it and how it would help me tone up. I did notice certain muscle groups forming shortly after starting Herbalife.

Fast forward to when I joined Herbalife. I discovered plenty of things. At first, I thought Herbalife was just going to give me products I needed to lose weight. I didn’t think much about the products possibly assisting me in muscle gain. All I saw were people who had been running towards goals I had in mind. I just wanted to be fit and lose the blasted pounds I could NOT shake off. Herbalife literally was the vessel I needed to make me understand what I needed to do to get to where I want to be. I didn’t understand how important certain meals needed to be not just for weight loss but also for muscle maintenance.

I was introduced to a whole different kind of world that not only assisted me with what I needed physically but I found what could help me business mentality wise. I was introduced to things like self-development and being disciplined as well as social media marketing. Mind you, I very rarely had anyone train me to do these things. I at my own pace applied myself to do things I wanted to learn. I found myself building up today physically and mentally to the person I want to be. I found myself in a mind space that’s very peaceful and I am just very thankful that I was able to find this opportunity and learn a different kind of discipline and consistency and understand the truth of  what it would be like to be self-employed.

This is written as a piece based on my experience.

Love,

Martha

Disclaimer:

Consumers who use Herbalife Formula 1 twice per day as part of a healthy lifestyle can generally expect to lose around 0.5 to 1 pound per week. Participants in a 12-week, single-blind, study used Formula 1 twice per day (once as a meal and once as a snack) with a reduced calorie diet and a goal of 30 minutes of exercise per day. Participants followed either a high protein diet or a standard protein diet. Participants in both groups lost about 8.5 pounds.